Identity Thief is the latest film from Horrible Bosses director Seth Gordon, and if you’ve seen that film then you pretty much know what to expect here: crap. I know what you’re thinking though, Melissa McCarthy was hilarious in Bridesmaids, and she’s getting a chance at an even bigger role here, so surely this movie has to be funny, right? And Jason Bateman was on Arrested Development, everyone loves that show, so surely he’s good here, right? Wrong. Ask Zach Galifianakis how well having one breakthrough comedic performance translates into getting put in further funny movies. And if you’re still expecting something good out of films starring Jason Bateman, heck, go watch Horrible Bosses again so you can remember how bad his movie career has been.
Maybe that’s a little harsh. McCarthy is really talented, and she does do her best to riff as many funny quips as she can here, and Bateman is able to get laughs when he’s working with a writer who gets what’s funny about him. The problem is, the Identity Thief script is just a mess, and it completely leaves its performers hung out to dry. They never seem to know what kind of movie they’re in, so they’re never able to drum up any chemistry or build any momentum.
Seriously, Identity Thief is schizo. One minute it’s a silly comedy about an uptight straight man having to deal with an obnoxious clown woman and the next it’s the serious sort of crime story where people are being violently shot. One minute McCarthy is comically getting hit by a flimsy guitar and the next she’s in a horrible car accident where a van she’s in completely flips 8 or so times. One minute our stars are wrestling around with a CG snake out in the woods and the next they’re performing in a melodramatic Oscar clip where McCarthy cries about how tough her childhood was. It’s like there was nobody involved in this production who was willing to say no to anything. Everything gets thrown at the wall with little attention paid to seeing if any of it sticks. And, worst of all, a movie that starts off looking like it’s going to be an escalating battle of one-upmanship quickly devolves into a boring road trip movie where a loud person and an agitated person’s idiosyncrasies grate against each other while they drive in a car. So rarely do these movies work out well and not come off as completely tired retreads. It takes a great script and a couple of really great performers, and Identity Thief is missing out on at least one part of that equation. Probably more.
