Goon is an adaptation of a novel that was written about a real guy who made a career in minor league hockey just by being a bruiser who throws a good punch. Seeing as the script was adapted by Jay Baruchel and Evan Goldberg, whose work I always enjoy, I thought that this rough and tumble look at the world of hockey enforcers would probably be a good time; a funny look at a profession that seemingly shouldn’t exist in today’s world. Color me surprised then, when this thing was so unfunny that the attempts at humor were often oppressive. Constant yelling of homophobic slurs and never ending claims of sleeping with each other’s mothers might be how players really relate to each other in hockey locker rooms, but it doesn’t make for good comedy. The jokes here feel like they should have come from the pens of a couple frat boys instead of a couple of talented guys like Baruchel and Goldberg.
Luckily, Goon doesn’t live and die by its humor. Sean William Scott is actually really affecting as the lunkhead protagonist whose simple mind and easygoing nature make him a doormat more often than not. He’s so earnest and sweet that you just beg for him to find a situation where people aren’t taking advantage of him, and he keeps you empathizing with his character every step of the way. I also really liked Liev Schreiber as the elder statesman of the hockey enforcer world, the future vision of what Scott’s character will eventually become. He’s dark and menacing, but soulful, and the eventual confrontation between the two characters gets built to really well. Schreiber’s mustachioed scowl lurking in the background of this movie reminded me quite a bit of the wolf character in The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and that’s a very good thing.
The fights were really cool too. They’re hard hitting, bloody, and hard to watch, but they’re so kinetic and loud that they still manage to be a lot of fun. And did I mention that they were bloody? Delightfully, disgustingly, splatteringly bloody. Between Scott making you want to pet him as he looks sad all the time, the joy of the constant violence, and Allison Pill melting my heart as the love interest by using lines like, “You make me want to stop sleeping with a bunch of guys,” Goon had enough going on to get me on its side. Even with all of the unfunny, easy gay bashing that masqueraded as jokes.
