I really don’t remember 2003 as being this much of an abysmal year. I suppose this must have been the time when I stepped away from movies for a while and focused on other things. Of course, I don’t mean that I stopped watching movies, mind you. I’m sure I probably saw just about everything important that came out this year; but I stepped away from the preoccupation of following the industry. I watched things as they came out, instead of keeping track of what was in production and tracking their progress. I hit up the multiplex and didn’t really venture out on road trips to check out too many limited release things. Instead, I started a work out regiment to drop my depression weight. I started putting together a new circle of friends. I focused on making money and tried to put the failures of my first college stint behind me. And dang, it’s a good thing. What a sorry list of films it was that came out in 2003. A guy paying much attention could have gone and got upset. I hope there are a large handful of gems that have escaped under my radar over the years that will eventually fill this list out a bit more. I hope, but I’m doubtful...
10-Swimming Pool ***
I don’t really know as much as I should about Francois Ozon as a filmmaker, but after liking his 2002 film 8 Women enough I was pretty intrigued when Swimming Pool started getting some buzz in the States. This was a slow paced, dark mystery story that reminded me a bit of a Roman Polanski film. Charlotte Rampling was good in the lead, and the cinematography was well worth paying attention to. But, when you really break it down, I think that the buzz generated around this one was mostly from Ludivine Sagnier’s nude scenes. She played young and naughty to its extreme, she looked damn amazing, and she’s a fun little actress to boot. Her teen seductress routine and the way it intrigues Rampling’s character bordering on obsession is the main draw of the film and while it doesn’t manage to produce anything too memorable or worth going out of your way to see, there are much worse ways to spend an evening. And the nudity is gonna knock your socks off.
9-Bad Santa ***
Terry Zwigoff really blew me away in 2001 with Ghost World, his tale of hipster sensibilities, weirdos, and the destructive force of loneliness. Bad Santa is much more of a straight comedy than that film, and while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, there was nothing in this film that came close to matching what Steve Buscemi accomplished with the character of Seymour in Ghost World. What Bad Santa was able to accomplish, however, was crafting a funny story around the more sleazy and curmudgeonly aspects of Billy Bob Thornton’s persona. He’s crass, he’s rude, he’s an alcoholic, he’s a criminal; and he’s our protagonist. In a Christmas movie. With an unfunny script, that could be a pretty annoying, trying too hard to be edgy conceit, but with a film as funnily written as this it’s a great setup for comedy. Thornton really kills it in the role and he’s strongly supported by Tony Cox and Lauren Graham who are funny in their own right; but it is Brett Kelly as The Kid who absolutely shines in this film and makes it a comedy worth checking out. Never have you seen a dweebier, pudgier, more pathetic little turd in all of your life. He’s lame, he’s gross, he’s a complete chore to be around; and somehow he is able to completely charm your pants off by the end of the film. Through his earnestness and good-hearted nature he will teach you the true meaning of Christmas! And shouldn’t that be the goal of every Christmas movie?
8-Intolerable Cruelty ***
I’ve gone on record countless times as saying that the Coen brothers can do no wrong. Many people would argue that Intolerable Cruelty is proof otherwise. I would agree that it is easily their worst film, but hey, come on! Can you honestly say that there’s nothing to like here? Is this not head and shoulders above pretty much every other romantic comedy that you’ve ever seen? While more conventional than their other work, there is a palpable dusting of Coen brothers absurdity flavoring the whole thing. It plays as a great throwback to the screwball comedies of classic Hollywood. George Clooney cranks his natural charm up to 11 to create maybe his smarmiest of characters; his chemistry with the sultry Catherine Zeta-Jones is palpable and tons of fun to watch. Plus, it’s all supported by the people in the small roles. It’s the small roles where Coen brothers movies set themselves apart. No role, no matter how small, is underwritten. The least significant characters in the film will still get a quirk, still get a fun trait for their actor to play around with. And the Coens are always able to find the most delightfully strange character actors to fill said roles. Intolerable Cruelty, lesser Coen brothers to be sure; but still the most fun you’re likely to have in a theater watching a romantic comedy starring big name Hollywood actors. That’s gotta count for something.
7-American Splendor ****
American Splendor is just the kind of weird little project that can make indie filmmaking so much fun. A sort of biopic of comic book writer Harvey Pekar and a sort of adaptation of his biographical comic book series American Splendor and Our Cancer Year, American Splendor the film is a fun mix of interviews with Pekar himself, animated sequences, and dramatic portrayals of Pekar’s life as played by Paul Giamatti. The film is not only a way to be introduced to Pekar’s life, neurosis, quirks, and unique voice, but also a strong acting showcase for Giamatti. He had a pretty good career going doing character work before this, but here he not only proved that he could anchor a film as a leading man, he also showed that he had some real versatile chops and was going to be an actor to watch. I think that I’ve only actually seen this film once, but I’m fairly certain that I have it stashed away somewhere on DVD. It’s high time that I pull it out and give it another watch, as I remember it being funny, well made, and just a general good watch.
6-All the Real Girls ****
This was the first David Gordon Green film that I saw, and the first indication I had that anything he makes is going to be very well put together and visually impressive. It’s a story about small towns and relationships and how much they both suck. Real relatable stuff. And Green is able to not just depress, but also entertain while he delves deep into the depths of people, their problems, and their mundane, ugly existences. Paul Schneider not only impresses as the lead, but also has a story credit on the film. It was here that my slight mancrush on him first started. Zooey Deschanel plays her usual indie dream girl who ends up breaking hearts, and at this point you’ve probably sussed out whether you like that or you don’t. Here I didn’t really mind it, as she’s played less as some sort of fairy princess, and more as a typical girl from a typical town going through typical stuff. Also of note is Danny McBride being absolutely delightful in a more straightforward, dramatic role than people are used to seeing him in. Yeah, he still looks like a complete idiot, but he delivers his lines with a straight face, which somehow makes his hillbilly persona even funnier. In the end, All the Real Girls is mostly just a too generic indie romance, but it’s well acted enough, well shot enough, and colored with enough of a realist twist to lift it ahead of the pack and make it something worth seeking out.
5-Old School ****
Old School was, for me, the first really great straight comedy of the 2000’s and a great indication of what was to come throughout the rest of the decade. At the time it was the first really dumb comedy that I liked a lot in quite a while and it felt really fresh and exciting. On the surface the concept of a bunch of middle aged guys starting a fraternity and reliving their college years sounds like it could be an opportunity for a really stupid movie, and if it had been done by Adam Sandler and friends, for instance, I’m sure it would have been. But, with the comedic sensibilities of Todd Phillips steering the ship, and the improvisational genius and strong comedic delivery of guys like Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn powering the engine, Old School was able to come together as a hysterical, infinitely quotable, compulsively rewatchable comedy. And the whole thing is anchored by a great straight man performance from Luke Wilson. Being the straight man is often a very hard and thankless job. It’s easy for the straight character to come off as an unlikable stick in the mud and have the actor come out of a film that was supposed to be a starring vehicle for him as the most unlikable person in the whole production. Luckily Wilson gives great exasperation, and is able to let his hair down and engage in the crazy situations surrounding him just enough that we still relate to him. Yes he thinks his friends are ridiculous, and yes he gets uncomfortable at how thoroughly he is swept up into their manchild machinations; but he also can appreciate that being a college kid again is pretty fun. He’s able to lose control and indulge himself in a bit of public drunken rambling. He doesn’t mind a good oil wrestling match as long as nobody’s grandpa is getting killed in the process. But, he’s still able to behave reasonably enough that he acts as our window into this crazy world and it’s inhabitants. The memorable quotes, the funniest moments, they come from guys like Ferrell and Vaughn, but it’s Wilson who carries the film and makes it a real success. Well, Wilson and that legendary shot of Elisha Cuthbert’s butt in those pink panties.
4-X2: X-Men United ****
Singer’s first X-Men wasn’t exactly a complete success in my eyes. He was clearly hampered by a studio that didn’t have much faith in the project; his budget was small, his schedule was rushed. And yet, it was good enough that people liked it, and it did well enough that it made Fox some money. And then, low and behold, the rush to lock up comic book properties was on and we’ve had ten years of nonstop superheroics since. X2 is Singer coming back from that first project with a little clout. He’s got some more money, and it shows up on the screen. He’s got some more freedom to create, and it shows in the improved script. The results are not only one of my favorite comic book films, but a strong adventure film overall. It’s a shame that the first in the series wasn’t as strong, and the third in the series was a complete disaster, because I like to revisit this one on occasion and I’m sure the pleasure inherent in that would be greatly enhanced if it was a part of a satisfying trilogy. All of the original actors return here and give deeper, more nuanced performances than in the first film. Hugh Jackman once again lives very comfortably in the Wolverine role that literally plucked him out of obscurity and made him a huge Hollywood star. Halle Berry gets a better wig and drops the annoying accent. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan continue to rule in the most interesting roles in the film, that of the politically opposed former best friends Professor Xavier and Magneto. And the gang is joined this time by Alan Cumming, who gives a great, expressive performance as Nightcrawler despite being buried under a ton of stage makeup, and Brian Cox who does his usually admirable job playing Brian Cox, but this time as a mutant hating military man with connection to Wolverine’s past. Everything about X2 is bigger, badder, better than the first film. If you saw that one and didn’t end up liking it, I would still recommend giving the sequel a chance. It’s a bit of a disappointment that this one set up a lot of promising plot threads that didn’t get paid of satisfactorily in the Bret Ratner helmed third film, and that makes watching this one a bit of a frustration; but it still works as a satisfying stand alone if you can push all of that heartache out of your mind and enjoy it for what it is.
3-Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl ****
Where on Earth did this film come from? A movie based on a carnival ride at Disneyland with Jerry Bruckheimer’s name attached in a prominent position? Good Lord, what a piece of insufferable crap. Tell me nothing more about it. I don’t need to read a synopsis, I don’t need to see a trailer; this is a film that I never want to have to sit through. Except, that’s not what Pirates of the Caribbean is at all. It’s not often that I am pleasantly surprised by a film that I have little hope for, and whenever it happens it is a supremely satisfying experience. And perhaps never has the experience been more potent than it was when I saw this film. Not since Raiders of the Lost Arc have I had a more completely joy filled experience getting fully enveloped in the world of an adventure story. Visually, Gore Verbinski and his production team knock the entire thing out of the park. Storywise, the film is tightly paced, full of fun action sequences, and still manages to simultaneously introduce and develop likable characters. And the elephant in the room, the big time element that took this film from being a fun summer blockbuster and turned it into a cultural phenomenon, was of course Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. The character is hilarious, intriguing, and completely unique. He was perhaps the first really iconic cinematic character of this century. Depp, already one of the biggest stars and most respected actors in the world, took his career to a completely new level when he took on the role of Captain Jack. It’s the one that we’ll talk about when he dies. It’s the one that will show up in montage videos about films from this time. Say what you will about the sequels and what they did or didn’t do to tarnish the things that this first entry in the Pirates series accomplished; there is no denying the cultural impact that this film had. Plus, it made a whole lot of money.
2-The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ****
The past several that I’ve written up one of these lists I’ve talked about The Lord of the Rings films. They’ve all ranked very highly and they’ve all gotten very good ratings. I’ve gone on record already as saying that Fellowship is my favorite, and I stand by that, but I think that Return of the King is really good too. At this point we’ve introduced countless characters, the story has taken on myriad complications, and the chances of the whole production falling apart started to become pretty likely. It doesn’t really happen here, though. There is a lot I love in this final film. There are a lot of payoffs, a lot of cathartic moments, but more than that, there is just a lot of great character stuff that gets accomplished. This is the film that takes Gollum from being a one-note antagonist and turns him into one of the most memorable and affecting screen creations I’ve ever seen. In a general sense I liked what it did slightly better than The Two Towers, and by the end of the second act I thought that it might be giving Fellowship a run for it’s money, but it’s with the third act and the inability of the editors to let go of some of the far-too-many false endings that Return of the King gets knocked down a notch from being a perfect film. I understand that we have a lot of characters, and I understand that what happens to them is pretty dang important after we’ve spent so much screen time invested in their journeys, but the pacing of this film just doesn’t survive the never-ending dénouement. Something like twenty minutes after the action has climaxed we are still watching Return of the King. That is just unacceptable. With a more shrewdly chosen ending, perhaps on top of that castle spire where Aragorn is crowned as the new king, this film could have been one for the record books. With a reunion of old friends, a trip back to The Shire, and a tear filled goodbye at the end of the world, and whatever else got wrapped up that I’m forgetting, Return of the King becomes a great film with a last half hour that makes you want to bang your head against the wall.
1-Lost in Translation *****
There are a lot of people with small attention spans who have sounded off to me about how much they hate Lost in Translation. More than a couple straight-laced fellows, vaguely threatened at what they perceive as the film’s antagonistic intellectualism, have gone off on tangents to me about how contemptible a film this is. I’ve even heard from a few fans of Bill Murray’s early work that were disappointed that he would make such a boring movie. Oh my God, what are these idiots thinking? Lost in Translation is a film that elegantly and adeptly sets a mood and allows you to live in it for it’s entire runtime. It is a film that is about people instead of story. It’s rumination on loneliness and a celebration of new discovery and new relationships. It could translate as good still photography if it wasn’t in motion. Its soundtrack could stand alone as a great album if it wasn’t married to image. Bill Murray stands head and shoulders above mortal men in this film. His performance, while subdued and minimal, is still able to somehow hint at a wealth of deeper feeling and experience. Scarlett Johansson capitalizes on the promise she showed in Ghost World by turning in a truly adult and mature performance. The dialogue isn’t over written or showy, the characters talk like real people would. They awkwardly get to know each other. They have fun together, they are intelligent, and it’s engaging to watch develop; but neither character ever feels too clever or manufactured. Every aspect of this film comes together effortlessly. It’s a naturalist, organic piece of art that works both as a portrait of a moment in time and a travelogue for the city of Tokyo. Sure, it’s slow paced. It plays out much more like a European film than it does something Hollywood might produce. But, if you’re of the opinion that “nothing happens”, then I just can’t imagine what film you were watching. There are laughs from beginning to end. Watching Bill Murray interact with Japanese culture is something that I could never get sick of. He uncomfortably gets a lap dance while Peaches plays over the soundtrack, he gets shot at with BB guns, he encounters rotund housewives doing water aerobics, he comes across kids playing rhythm games in endlessly expansive arcades, he caps off a date from Hell with the line ”I’m switching to beer”. And you say nothing happens? The acting is extraordinary. What are you doing going to the movies if you can’t appreciate this film just based on the performances alone? Anna Farris has been in about a hundred straight comedies, but she’s never given the chance to be funny like she is in this film. Bill Murray won the Oscar for best actor of all time for his performance as Bob Harris. The film opens with a shot of Scarlett’s butt. Five stars, five stars! And putting all of this other stuff that I love aside, the development of the relationship between the two main characters is what the film is about and it is worth the price of admission alone. Never does it give in to Hollywood cliché. Never do they go in the too obvious, too unrealistic, too hacky direction of having the main characters develop a romantic entanglement. They’re too good for that. They have spouses, and they’re not the type to cheat. There is a huge age gap between them, and they’re too self aware to think that they might cross it. This is a film about people that I would like to know in real life rather than one about people who act stupid and vulgar because it’s what makes for a more engaging plot. Screw plot. Give me character. Give me craftsmanship. Give me something smarter and more original than everything else that comes out in the multiplexes; one clone romance after another. Lost in Translation is that film, and if you can’t deal with it, then just go away. I’m tired of talking to you.
