Director Jay Chandrasekhar is best known for his work making Super Troopers and Club Dread with his fellow comedy troupe members of Broken Lizard. I’ve been told by several people with decent taste that these two movies are funny. However, these people don’t have such good taste that I’m inclined to believe them. They both looked awful to me, and I’ve got pretty good ESP when it comes to bad movies. His latest effort The Dukes of Hazzard is the best possible proof I could dream of coming up with as to the man’s lack of humor without actually having seen his previous two ventures.
To clarify, Johnny Knoxville gives by far the best performance in this movie. Yeah, that Johnny Knoxville. And don’t you dare take that to mean I’m heaping any sort of praise on Knoxville as an actor, I’m just saying he’s better than Jessica Simpson and Stifler. Jessica Simpson I’ll get to later, but Stifler demands immediate attention. Seann William Scott gives by far the worst performance in this production. Take a moment and let that sink in. In a movie that has Jessica Simpson in a major role, Seann William Scott gave the worst performance. Truly, you say, this must have been one of the worst comedic performances of all time. Indeed it was. Stifler’s “performance” consisted of exactly two elements… firstly, he seemingly improvs some inane “joke” that leaves you baffled as to what the hell he’s talking about, secondly, he grimaces and stares into the camera until the editor cuts away. Rinse, repeat, ad nauseum. Be sure to notice the pointed quotation marks I’ve placed in the previous few sentences, then let’s move on.
I would imagine a review of The Dukes of Hazzard cannot be written without addressing the controversial topic of one Jessica Simpson. Controversial, because while the lady seems to be universally hated, she somehow remains ridiculously popular. People wailed guttural sounds of injury toward the heavens at the news that Simpson was going to debut as a feature film actress, yet most of the film’s successful promotion centered on the fact that she was a featured performer. Admit it America, you‘ve got a crush. How is her performance? Awful. Just awful. Her expressions are stiff, and it baffles me as to how a person from Texas can’t fake any sort of believable southern accent. How does she look? Amazing. Just, amazing. And this is coming from someone who wasn’t a big fan of her looks previously. She’s always had wicked boom booms, but that was about the extent of what I thought she offered. The girl has gotten herself into shape for this project and she amazing; I have to give her kudos at least for that, especially in an era where celebrity weight loss has resulted in previously beautiful young girls (coughlindsaylohancough) turning strung out looking monsters. Simpson is a healthy kind of skinny, even retaining most of her curves, and it looks great on her. This film was promoted heavily as containing eye candy, and in that respect it delivers.
Quick rundowns of the rest of the supporting cast; Burt Reynolds is lame as Boss Hogg, and the character had to be completely re-envisioned in order to cast him in the role. David Koechner is decent but forgettable as Cooter. James Roday is confusingly undefined as racecar driver Billy Pricket. Michael Weston doesn’t have much to do as Enos. And Willie Nelson is disappointing as Uncle Jessie. Disappointing I say, because I thought Nelson was the one bit of inspired casting that this movie had, and his character, the way it is written, is ridiculously annoying. Jesse shows up maybe twice in the movie and the only thing he’s there for is to tell lame jokes. Just, straight up, setup then punch line jokes; and God are they bad. They sounded like they were something out of the Jeff Foxworthy playbook. Seriously, what was the point of that? It was stupefying.
There are a few other, smaller aspects of the movie that I feel need mentioning; the music and the car chases. Thankfully, the legendary Waylon Jennings performed theme song remains in tact in the film, so it’s got that working for it. The original score work itself was done by Nathan Barr, and while it effectively sounds like mountain music, it’s not as amusingly "Country Bears Jamboree" as it could have been, especially seeing as the movie is played as even more of a straight comedy than the television show. The car chases are decent, but nothing spectacular. They are competently shot, and easy to follow, but contain nothing innovative or awe inspiring. This, I think, is especially disappointing, because I feel this film could have risen above the filth everybody thought it was going to be had it raised the bar on movie car chases and given us something we’d never seen before. Sadly, it doesn’t.
What star rating, then, would I give this movie? It’s difficult, because the film is so utterly awful, and yet it almost seems to have been conceived to be awful. Does it then succeed on that count? I wouldn’t say so. Bottom line, all of the comedy falls flat, the chases are nothing special, and the acting is all really bad. However, because they kept the TV show’s original theme song, and Jessica Simpson was able to convert me into being a believer in her hotness, I’m going to give The Dukes of Hazzard a pity *.
